This world is full of different religions, belief and customs, and I can only speak about the Punjabi/Indian customs and whether you agree with me or not its all BULLSHIT, and I will explain why. By the way what I am about to write ISN’T my personal experience, but what I have seen so many women go through.
What’s the year, it’s 2017 so why are some women still slaves to the customs. In today’s world where everyone is saying that men and woman are equal, in reality are they? A girl born and raised in Canada or has lived majority of her life in Canada, get’s an education, is independent, gets married and is now expected to cook, clean and take care of her in-laws “feelings”…just boggles my mind. So what are some customs or expectations I’m taking about; a woman/girl should work a full time job come home and be a slave to her in laws family, bow down and be forced out of choice to touch random peoples feet , be a robot to her husband and follow his every command, dress to the nine when going out because it makes the family look good, be a fuckin’ chef and be able to cook every Indian dish under the sun, pump out babies like a machine and then be expected to bounce back to “normal” life right after having a kid? I can go on and on, but seriously who really made these “rules” for women, cause I would really like to meet that person and PUNCH them in the face!
Parents of daughter often do so much to ensure their daughters are protected and taken care of, but once their married they no longer are able to do to anything…WHY? Because their forbidden to step in when their daughter’s are suffering and that’s also consider interfering in the in-laws “family matters”according to yet another stupid ass Indian custom.
Why are women not able to break these barriers? Why is it that EVEN today shit like this still exists in places like Canada (don’t even get me started on India), where everyone ‘claims” their so modern. I’ll tell you why, it’s because we don’t empower our daughters, sisters, moms, friends enough. From the beginning a little girl is told you can touch the sky and chase your dreams, but at the same time told to learn how to cook and clean because one day she will HAVE to get married and will need to do this for her in-laws and husband. I’m pretty sure the sons aren’t being told the same thing. How about we teach our daughters to cook and clean because one day if she’s on her own running a company she can look after HERSELF. Just think about that for a minute….interesting isn’t it.
This isn’t about paying respect to elders, or not doing the right thing. You need to respect everyone in your life, whether it’s your parents, in laws, spouse, siblings, EVERYONE! But you need to put your foot down when it’s causing you pain and breaking you down as a person on the inside. No one should be made to feel this way, no one has been given the right to treat another person like crap. Even parents, just because your a parents doesn’t mean you OWN your kids. I get it, some women can’t get out of their situations because of the circumstances, they continue to suffer until their broken, go crazy, sometimes even kill themselves! It’s so sad, and breaks my heart!
Right now in this moment, I can’t do anything to help those women (hopefully one day I will). But what I can do now is raise my daughter to be strong, not take shit, and be true to herself not some “custom”. If I ever have a son I will teach him the value of a WOMAN and teach him to be man that stands up to any kind emotional or physical abuse.
And honestly I count my blessings everyday that the man I married and the family I got married into feels the same way as I do about women rights and Indian customs, because not all women are that fortunate.
So be that shoulder that someone needs to lean on and cry, listen when someone needs to be heard, and most importantly be that strong force that has the ability to break down the barriers for not only yourself but for the women in your life. Because this will always continue until we do something about it.
“Some women fear the fire, some women become it” – unknown