Happy Tuesday everyone! Hope everyone is well, my hubby and I just got hit with the flu that our daughter had and it’s horrible. And if your a parent you know parents don’t get sick days. Laying on the couch with a blanket is not an option. My hubby and I are so tired that we could literally drop anywhere to take a nap. So this leads me right into my blog of the day, 5 ways your life changes as a new parent. I know there’s more than 5, but according to my experience these would be right on the top of my list (you might agree).
1) No schedule – Before we became parents everyone told us, it’s all about the baby’s schedule and let me tell you THEY WERE RIGHT. If you think you’ve got a plan or a list of things to do and your actually going to get them done with a baby/toddler/child – forget about it! Your entire day depends on how your kid is feeling. Prepare yourself to show up at events late and expect to leave early. Also get used to cancelling plans . It’s a new way of life and you have to learn to go with the flow – literally! My hubby and I could tell from Ajooni’s mood if it’s going to be a good or bad day.
2) Limited “Me” time – When your a new mom you pretty much have to put yourself second. I know so many people say “me” time is so important. Just take 10 to 20 mins for yourself. Like seriously at the beginning you don’t have 10 to 20 mins, especially if you and your hubby are on your own. For the longest time “me” time for me was in the shower and on the toilet, even then I was rushing to get out fast. But things have changed because we have family around, it’s become a bit easier to find time for myself. I always told myself I will never be like those women that only lives for their husband and kids, and I found myself slipping into that. But I’ve started to make time for things that I like because I need to give back to myself once in a while.
3) There will always be chores – If you think you can stay on top of all your household chores while raising your kid or kids….think again! And if you’re a mom that does, I truly applaud you because I don’t know how you do it. I could easily list 10 things that need to get done at home right now. I have noticed that I’m always overworking myself and I never slow down. When I was on maternity leave I hardly ever napped when Ajooni napped. I was always running around getting things done. Last week was the first time in a long time that I took a nap when Ajooni napped, and it felt so good! So mom’s don’t feel guilty for napping….the chores can wait, trust me!!
4) Relationship with hubby – I would say what has changed the most for me and my hubby is the alone time. We don’t go to dinner dates, movies or weekend gateways. If we do anything it’s always the 3 of us (I don’t mean that in a bad way). I’m really the culprit in this, because I won’t go anywhere without Ajooni. But if I do I feel guilty for leaving her behind or feel that something is missing. I recently told my hubby we need to start going on dates once in a whole, and I need to stop feeling guilty for having to leave Ajooni behind. It is so important to stay connected with your spouse because you easily get caught up with the everyday stuff like feedings, changing diapers, playing with your kids, chores etc.
5) Lack of sleep – There’s no way to sugar coat this but to say you will be sleep deprived for a long time. My hubby used to nap at work because he was helping with overnight feeds when Ajooni was a baby (poor guy). Someday’s we sit back and wonder how in the world did we get through the first year of parenting? And how are we going to do this all over again with the next one (whenever that is)? But it does get better, once your baby starts sleeping through the night so will you. So hang in there, there is light at the end of the tunnel ;).
I personally feel that more than financial you have to be mentally prepared to have kids. Having a kid changes the way you live your life completely! It’s not about you or about your feelings anymore, it’s all about your children. It’s about their safety, their well being, their happiness, everything to do with them. Even though me and my hubby had our 1st time parenting challenges, not once did we ever think why the hell did we do this (we might joke about it). So if your a new mom, or soon to be a mom please don’t feel discouraged reading this. As long as you allow the changes to happen and expect the new way of life you will do just fine.
And one last thing, coffee becomes your new best friend ;).